Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the One who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him. John 7:18
I’ve been feeling a little troubled lately. It’s a good kind of troubling. The kind where we can either choose to give into it or die under the weight of it. It’s about the subject of honor. Not about honoring eachother, because we know this is a must, but about the subject of honor for ourselves.
I find myself consistently battling the tendency to desire honor for myself from others. It comes in all forms: boasting, defending myself, competition, etc. The Word clearly says that we should seek honor. But honor from whom? Not from fellow believers, not from the world… but from God.
You see, God wants to give us honor. It’s His joy, actually. It’s the kind of honor He gave Daniel when Daniel chose to not let his heart be affected by the king’s compliments. Daniel still operated in his gifts but had the sense to not promote himself. He didn’t demand honor from others when operating in these gifts. He acted as if it was a gift to even have these abilities.
I want honor from God but my grappling for honor from others has so muddied the waters of my heart that I’m not even sure how to obtain this honor from Him. What does His honor look like, anyway?… and how do I get it? These are important questions that I insist on finding the answers to.
Girls and boys pretend to hate
While shadows prepare themselves to pounce
And curtained windows behave like walls
Sleepy-eyed lovers rest unknowingly
As liquid people moisten the seams
Hiding among the crevices
The rot reveals the hidden truth
The sanctuary reveals there’s too much room
And they think they will die
But grasping for eternity
They pull back curtains, a way to see
And linger there, unhurriedly
In the stalemate love is born
It holds their hands and holds their hearts
While others sigh and rage and mourn