A couple of years ago I had an incredibly powerful dream. At the time of the dream, I was worship leading with another ministry in Minnesota. In part of the dream, I arrived at a wedding while the rest of our team was doing worship. I climbed up on the stage and grabbed a microphone and took another one of the worship leaders and we stood on the ground facing the stage with the rest of the people. This other leader and I just began to worship and adore Jesus, leading the other people into adoration but there was this deeper unity happening in the Spirit. We were on the same level, but we were leading. We weren’t placing ourselves higher than anyone else. There was a humility there. I wasn’t facing the crowd, looking for adulation, I was just worshiping and the people were following mine and the other girls lead. And we were all doing it together.
I know this might sound funny but I have a strange fear about leading worship. It’s probably a fear of man thing, I suppose, but I sometimes picture myself completely losing it on stage, on my face in a puddle of my own snot, totally unable to sing anymore– in front of my entire church. This happens each time I get on stage to lead worship: what if I become completely undone in His presence? What if I can’t stop crying or laughing? What if this happens and people think I’m making it all up? What if…? There’s a little part of me that thinks about this fear afterwards and wonders if I’m being a good leader by restraining myself in this way. In reality, I want everyone to encounter the Lord and His presence and His love for them, so giving myself entirely to connecting with God will ultimately change the atmosphere. Am I willing to take a risk of looking completely undignified like David? I don’t mean dancing necessarily– I don’t generally like to dance while leading because I get out of breath and it makes it tougher to sing– what I do mean is am I willing to be completely undignified and allow His Spirit to move whatever it may look like?
It’s a vulnerable position to be in. What makes me so concerned is that I have felt this before… losing complete control as I get swept up in His love and tenderness. But losing control when I’m in front of three hundred people? Yeah… that’s a little frightening. The truth is I love to worship and I know I was made for this. There is nothing that delights my heart more than giving it to Him and adoring Him. Sure it’s nice to hear compliments about my voice– I want to sing with excellence and sound good but I’m not “leading the singing” as some old-school church people might say … I’m leading the worship. Leading worship means that I have to open up what is happening in my world with Him and allow others to see inside the tender, private side of our love. I have to forget about possible expectations from leaders and and even the congregation and obey the direction the Holy Spirit is leading me to. Thankfully, I have leaders that trust us enough to hear the voice of God and who love to see His presence come and encounter the people.
What areas of your life do you need to cast off the restraint of His presence? What areas need to be completely undone so that God can come and take control? If you gave Him all of yourself, what would that look like? If you didn’t care so much about the outcome but also about obedience? If we did this in all the areas of our lives, what would the church look like? How much could we accomplish together?
So I am having an increase in prophetic dreams again and believe the Lord is wanting to pour more of them out particularly in my church body. I have another blog at called Journeys in the Night
Whether you are a part of Grace Fellowship or not, I would love to add your dream to my blog. I will add your name but if you would like for me to post it anonymously, I can do that as well. Just email your dream to firstname.lastname@example.org. I will give my interpretation and others are able to add theirs as well. I will also be posting content about how to handle your own dreams and interpret them.
Oh, that you were like my brother,
Who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I should find you outside,
I would kiss you;
I would not be despised.
To some, this post might be a little ironic… almost contradicting itself, I suppose. Really, any of my posts might be contradicting this passage and it’s symbolism but I will take the risk in sharing my thoughts on it.
The first line in this passage feels a little creepy to me. I have two brothers and never in my life have I wished that my boyfriend were my brother. Gross. But if we look at the historical context of this passage we might have a better understanding of what Solomon meant on a cultural level.
In ancient times it was completely unacceptable for a woman to show affection to anyone other than her immediate family. It was okay for a woman to give her a brother a hug and a peck on the cheek but never was it okay for her to show affection to someone of the opposite sex that she was not blood related to.
In this passage, the Shulamite is reflecting on how she wishes she didn’t have to show public restraint in her affection for the King but she knows that it is the appropriate thing to do. She knows that there are private personal happenings between the bride and her groom that must be kept protected and covered from prying eyes. She also sees that keeping these things to herself keeps them from being exploited and misintepreted. “But it is so hard!”, she thinks. “I am so excited about all of the precious treasures we have between us. How can I not share this revelation that is so wonderful? How can I not share these intimate experiences that I cannot stop thinking of?”
The Shulamite has learned from past experiences that she must use wisdom and discretion when speaking of her deep affection for the King. Not that she doesn’t share her love for Him and live out His love to others but sharing the deep private things that he secretly gives her have caused problems before.
As I was reading this passage before bed last night the Lord reminded me of times where I had shared revelation and encounters that He had given me that were supposed to have been kept private. It’s maturity to understand what revelation should be shared and who you should share it with. It’s maturity to restrain ourselves, even in the excitement of receiving knowledge and secrets from the Lord.
Joseph didn’t get this lesson early on. He received dreams from God that were very offensive to his brothers and it resulted in Joseph going through some very difficult seasons. Even as I have talked about my relationship with the Lord and various encounters that I have had, I have been accused of “not being myself”. With some dreams that I have had I have been accused of much, much worse. There have been moments that others did not understand and were offended at visions and encounters but I was too excited to realize how offended they were until it was too late.
The truth is, when God speaks to us about ourselves or about a difficult situation surrounding us, He speaks in a language that we will understand. If He gives that revelation for your sake alone, it is true that others will not understand the language He speaks in and it will cause a lot of confusion. However, ironically, if He gives us a word for another person many times we don’t understand that word because He gives it in language that only the other person will understand (which is why we must always pray for interpretation or give the word exactly how we received it).
My exhortation to you is to pray about what to share and to not to share with the Lord. If you are very demonstrative about your love for the Lord, that is awesome! I believe God has called every one of us to be expressive in our love for Jesus but be aware that Jesus also cherishes special moments between you and Him. You don’t always have to share these. Some of you, Jesus is calling to a place of humility in this area. I think in part, it is due to the Lord’s protection from the judgement of others but it also has to do with not “puffing ourselves up” before man and striving for others to see us on a higher spiritual plane. It is called “the secret place” for a reason.
This week I moved to the cute little college town of Searcy, Arkansas (by little I mean population of 23,000). Searcy is the home of Harding University and ASU Searcy. College kids are everywhere and as a result, so is a number of coffee, laser tag, and rock wall climbing businesses. I moved to downtown Searcy in sort of the historic district overlooking an art gallery on West Market Avenue and as of yesterday my apartment finally looks livable! I’ve spent all week unpacking, putting artwork on the walls, and hanging up all the clothes that have been piled on my closet floor.
Finally, last night I ventured out to be with friends. I felt like it had been days since I had seen a living soul (other than my co-workers) as I worked to make my new home become presentable. It felt good to be around a bunch of people that love Jesus so much. But as usual when I’m around, our topic of conversation turned to prophetic dreams and encounters. I love this topic because I think God is so exciting and I love how He makes life interesting and supernatural. He speaks to us in so many ways, some ways more subtle and others… way less subtle.
You see, in the last few months since going to Grace Fellowship I have been inundated with intense attacks from the enemy. I know this is not a result of the church itself; if anything, Grace has been a source of stability for me while I have been going through it. But I do however feel that the enemy is not happy that I am with my current church body. Let’s just say these attacks have included everything from overt demonic encounters, to demonic dreams as well as less overt temptations to pull me out of His will and my calling. At times I have felt like I have been literally going crazy. Not fun.
Wednesday night I woke up from one of the scariest dreams I have had in awhile. It was so intense, I woke myself up screaming “HELP!” at the top of my lungs (and then hoped that I had not also woken up one of my neighbors). Nothing was attacking me in my dream but the threat was definitely there and I knew it was a warning to keep pressing forward and to not look back. I was shaken for hours after the dream and as I sat down on my living room floor to spend time with the Lord, I remembered some other dreams I had in the same night. I remembered dreams about Jesus exchanging my sorrow for joy and dreams full of adventure and destiny… yet there I was letting the enemy ruffle my feathers again over this one stupid dream.
In that moment I chose to give satan the cold shoulder. He was just trying to scare me and I decided to ignore him. As I listened to Holy Spirit and what He had to say about the situation, I felt confidence in the Father’s protection over me. I saw myself wrapped up in His arms while the enemy cowered before Him. Holy Spirit reminded me of things He had spoken to me before about my authority and His strength and power to keep me. I remembered that He was for me and that all I had to do was believe His promises over my life. I had no reason to disbelieve what He has said in the past. He isn’t a God who lies and how dare I agree with the accusation and lies of the thief. I understood that the place of rest, trust, and belief was the greatest form of spiritual warfare.
Remember the armor Paul talks about in Ephesians 6? Faith, truth, righteousness, and peace are all important in shielding us from the evil one. Don’t just read the Word but believe what it says. Ask Abba who He is and choose to agree with Him. Recognize the lies of the enemy for what they are and speak truth right back at him. Obey Jesus, even when it is hard and even when it hurts and dive headfirst into His grace and forgiveness. It’s important to practice these things because there are two kingdoms at war right now and though I know Jesus’ kingdom is going to win, I also know that I want to be on His side. I want to make His name great because He is so worthy of it and because I am so in love with Him.
God speaks to us in our dreams. I firmly believe that. That is why I started a new dream blog, not only to record my own and get others to interpret them but to have a place for whoever wants to, to share their dreams as well. If you would like to share your dream on Journeys in the Night please send me your dream at email@example.com
The actual web address of this blog is http://journeyinthenight.wordpress.com
Please feel free to leave comments if you have a possible interpretation or would like to discuss other things about the dream.