“The battle is not against flesh and blood…” in other words… I need to love my way out of the battle. Not fight my way out… at least when it comes to fighting with the wrong army.
I have been more aware of the demonic realm in the last couple of weeks than any other time in my life. Sounds traumatic, right? Well… right… at first anyway. At first I was in utter panic that my future would be utterly destroyed. Not kidding. But then I had an encounter with God. He’s the best. In fact, I had multiple encounters with God in the midst of some pretty dark circumstances. And even after Jesus Himself spoke truth to me and after we closed some doors that wounds had opened, fear rose up in me again a couple of days later. Fear that He was going to leave me stranded. Fear that I would be fighting this ‘thing’ alone.
So I sat in my bedroom Saturday morning and talked to Him about it. I told Abba that I was really scared. Really, really, really scared. He didn’t chastise me for my unbelief. He didn’t wag his finger in front of my face and say “shame on you!”. Instead, He showed Himself to me as a daddy. A daddy with huge shoulders and big muscles. And he said, “don’t worry. I’m gonna take care of my little girl. You just sit here and rest.” That was all it took. I knew He was telling me the truth. I knew I could lay back in His arms and that everything would be okay.
And because I knew that I was safe in His arms, I knew it was safe to love. I knew it was safe to love and forgive.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus lately, or at least trying to think about Him. Every believer will say that they want to be like Jesus but do they realize how next-to-impossible this is without daily dying to ourselves and depending completly on the Holy Spirit for help? He was FALSLY accused of being crazy, of having demons and of blasphemy yet he never defended Himself, and even if it appeared that He was, He wasn’t trying to maintain his own reputation… he was doing it to speak truth about the Kingdom of God. Before He was crucified, as His accusers testified falsly against Him… Jesus remained silent. This perfectly innocent man (unlike the rest of us) didnt’ say a word to try and preserve His status before men.
“7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ”
I want this eternal reality like Paul had. This reality that is confident in a God who is able to keep me… an eternity that I can see before me… that I can set my eyes on and know that the opinions of men are nothing compared to the “surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.” I want to know that when I stand before Jesus, His opinion of my life… well His opinion is the only one that matters.
I could go around and around in circles trying to defend myself every time I am accused but if I did that it wouldn’t be about the Kingdom… it would be about… myself and only bring division to a Church that is suppose to be representing that Kingdom.