I love prophecy, if you haven’t all figured that out already. It is one of my favorite things in the world to prophesy over someone… especially someone I know absolutely nothing about. It’s more fun that way. Hearing the voice of Jesus and partnering with him to see a destiny fulfilled is one of the most powerful experiences and it is always… always… so much fun!
Tonight I was thinking about a prophetic word that someone gave ME awhile back. This word was so specific and seemed so impossible at the time but at least part of this word has occurred recently… a very specific part. The rest of it I’m still waiting on and let me tell you… it’s driving me a little crazy. You would think that if part of the word is fulfilled that the second part of the word (both supremely connected) would follow immediately afterward. Well apparently not.
I have asked the Lord repeatedly if He gave me that word to torture me. His answer is usually laughter. No, He’s not laughing at me. He’s just laughing with a little twinkle in His eye, like He knows something really awesome but He’s not telling me all of it yet because I’m not ready. Which makes me kind of mad at Him, even though I know that’s stupid. How can you get mad at a perfectly kind, generous, loving God? Oh, you can alright. But it’s probably because you are being stubborn and selfish. Like me.
For the first half of the word, I had to take steps in order for it to be fulfilled. That was easy enough; I just had to recognize when the opportunity came and then pounce on it. The fact that the opportunity came at all is miraculous enough for me. For the second half of the prophecy, I have to sit around and wait. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make it happen. Doesn’t He know how impatient I am? The answer is yes… yes He does. Which is the whole point.
I remember hearing a prophetic leader teaching one time about how there will be a season when it will look like this prophetic word won’t happen. In fact, we may go through seasons of doubt and disillusionment as we wait for it to be fulfilled. Really, what is happening is that Jesus is calling us to a deeper place in Him. He’s calling us to a deeper place of trust in His goodness. I know I sound really mature and spiritual right now but in fact, this knowledge just makes me want to rip my hair out at the root.
What I hear is simply that I have to wait some more.
See, you don’t understand how ridiculous a chore waiting is for me. I am the person who hunts down the waitress all over the restaurant if she doesn’t bring the bill soon enough. When I was much younger (not that it matters), my brother had been using my old mattress. I was moving to a new place and needed my bed so I went into his room and took the mattress… while he was still sleeping on it… just because I didn’t want to wait for him to wake up. I’m actually not kidding about that.
The truth is, prophetic words don’t happen just so that we can feel warm and fuzzy. They don’t happen just so we can know our future either. Sometimes they happen because Jesus wants to reveal the depth of His love to us. And sometimes part of that revealing has to do with a deep healing that can only come from wrestling with that prophetic word. As you wait on Jesus to bring that word to fruition… whether you take risks to see it happen or whether you are simply waiting… ask Jesus what He wants to do in your heart during this time. Ask Him how you can prepare for the word to come to fruition. What kinds of things in your character need to change? What kinds of things about your identity need to change? Maybe He just wants to see you loving Him more and placing your priorities and ambitions in the correct place (the correct place would be HIM). Maybe He is still healing you of past hurts and wounds.
I recognize now that this is exactly what Jesus is doing with me. That the whole process I see slowly… slowly… slooooowly unfolding is because He wants to walk with me through it all… my trust issues, my fears, my insecurities. All of the things I have avoided in the past because they were too difficult to deal with are now being exposed as this prophetic word is starting to happen.
So my challenge to you is what are you going to do about your prophetic word? Are you going to talk to Jesus about it? Are you going to ask Him if there is anything you need to do to see it come forth? Are you going to sit with Him and let Him heal you and set you free so you can walk in the things He has called you to? Go ahead and do it. Don’t wait!
This past month has been one of the best that I have had in a long time. I’m finding my life reflecting the title of this blog. Life is coming full circle. How strange. Eight years ago this month I was moving from Little Rock (the town that I now live in), wanting to escape a relationship break-up. I know I’ve covered most of the journey the Lord has led me on but I find it so strange and coincidental how much has changed in my heart and yet how there seem to be so many links and connections to significant moments in my life… it seems to all be coming together.
If I went into all of the strange things that have been happening this month or this summer even I would probably take up most of the space on this entire blog. So I’ll spare you most of the details. Connections between old friends and new friends, old dreams (since high school) that He has replanted in my heart, relationships that he is helping me to evaluate, and new prospective relationships that I am learning to enjoy and relax in… I am really taking joy in my life right now.
I went to World Mandate this weekend. It’s a church planting conference in Waco, Texas which is the fourth one that I have attended over the years. Antioch Community Church has planted house churches all over the world and it wasn’t until this fourth time in attendance that my heart was actually stirred toward what the Lord was doing on the earth… though I am thinking about these things for the future, I realize I’m not entirely ready for whatever my role is in this.
Instead, I had my usual favor from God that I seem to be getting a lot of lately. I had heard that there would be sign-up sheet for prophecy rooms at this conference and signed up for a slot on Saturday afternoon. I just needed encouragement, direction… anything that might help me to move forward. The fascinating situation I discovered but was not told until later, was that these rooms were only for pastors and missionaries. I asked my friend, a leader at Antioch if I should go back and take my name off the list. She encouraged me to keep it on, thinking it was probably just a ‘God thing’ that no one had told me the rules.
So I did go to the rooms on Saturday and basically wept through the entire ordeal. No direction really… just a confirmation of my calling, His heart for me, my identity in Him, divine protection over my life (yes please!), and a specific anointing that was called out again and confirmed (music). There was an even an incredibly awkward moment where all of the people in the room stood up and applauded me and celebrated me, signifying how proud the Father was of me and how He delighted in me. Yes, I blushed a little but I very much needed that awkward moment.
I guess right now I’m not excited about all of the adventures He has in the future… or the tasks or assignments He has for me… or the leadership positions He might give me or the bands that I get to sing with. I’m just excited that I get to rest in His arms and be loved by Him. I’m excited about the ways He is going to meet me in the future. I’m excited for the late nights I’ll get to spend with Him speaking to me in my dreams. I’m excited for the ways He’s going to speak to me through others and how I’ll hear His heart for them as well. I’m excited for all of the people He is placing in my life right now and how we’re walking out our friendship with Him together. I’m excited about the increase of joy I’m receiving just because He’s beside me.
Even though my dreams from high school might be very similar to the ones I have now, they are coming from a different place in my heart… a different place of rest… a more developed purpose. And some day, I will share with you exactly what those dreams were/are.
God has a sense of humor. If you haven’t figured that out, then I feel really sorry for you. I say this because he speaks in the most surprising ways sometimes.
I was working most of the day today and had my iPod earbuds embedded into my head. Music causes the day to go by so much faster and makes mundane chores enjoyable. I haven’t listened to a lot of secular music in years though I will occasionally put some Pandora Radio on if I’m in the mood. For the most part, I prefer to soak myself in some really anointed worship music. But today I found myself staring at the listing for Norah Jones album “Come Away”, which was her very first recorded album. I haven’t listened to the complete version of this CD in about 4 years and was honestly obsessed with the CD when I first bought it. But because it was associated with a former bad relationship I sort of avoided it for awhile. For some reason I decided to go ahead and put it on. When the title song “Come Away” came on I stopped in my tracks and found myself wondering about the lyrics.
I don’t think Norah is a believer… but I’m pretty sure God is speaking right now.
“Come away with me in the night
Come away with me and I’ll write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away with me where they can’t tempt us with their lies
And I want to walk with you on a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won’t you try to come?
Come away with me and we’ll kiss on a mountaintop
Come away with me and I’ll never stop lovin’ you
And I want to wake up with the rain fallin’ on a tin roof
While I’m safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you to come away with me in the night
Come away with me”
I can’t even begin to tell you how I felt the Lord speak to me in almost every single line. Not only that but soon after I was done listening to that album I put on a podcast by author John Eldredge. In the middle of the podcast John states “I was driving on a beautiful day awhile back and that song by Norah Jones… “Come Away with Me” played on the radio and I knew the Lord was speaking to me through this song.” I was sort of stunned. Once again, I am amazed at his tenderness over me.
I will write more on the meaning of these lyrics when I have time.
I like to argue sometimes… especially about theological and doctrinal matters. As long as it doesn’t get ugly (and unfortunately sometimes even if it does), I enjoy a nice intellectual debate from time to time. If you get me around an unbeliever or a traditional church member and the subject of God comes up, I always have fun trying to convince them with my words and sharp statements about “truth”.
But about a year ago I realized that though this kind of debate can be helpful at times, mere conversation and bold statements are usually not the ideal tool to convince others. I was attending a weekend conference with a speaker who is probably one of the most prophetic people in our nation today. He pointed me out of the crowd and spoke to me saying “young lady. You like to convince others with your words and through debate but the Lord is going to make you into a presence carrier. It will be the presence of God in your life that will draw others to the truth.”
The problem I see with many who are always trying to be shocking by “shaking the church out of their slumber” is that most of the time they actually enjoy being offensive… being able to cause reactions… and you can tell. I’m sure many of them are convinced they are prophets like Jeremiah who have come to speak “truth” to the church gone astray but rarely do they have the heart of the prophet Jeremiah who loved his people deeply and was very troubled by the call God had on his life. He didn’t spout off the judgments of God to look smart and profound. He pleaded with God to relieve him of his prophetic duties.
I have been a little troubled myself, after seeing some of the ways people have put themselves on a pedestal in the name of “truth”. Why are we spending so much time rebuking the church (I mean do we really think we’re that perfect ourselves?) when we could be convincing them of how great and wide and high and deep the love of God is for them? If we really think our words are going to shape church culture than we have it wrong. It is the all-surpassing, passionate, jealous, consuming love of God that is going to shift the state of the church in our day. If we want to be reformers then this is the message we must, must, MUST bring to the church. If we believe that God needs our words to change things… well than who gets the glory there?
It is not our words but His presence that ignites a fire in a dead church.