Category Archives: Music

In a farm house (think ‘wizard of oz), looking out the window… only to see several black tornadoes in the distance drawing closer to the home I was in. I walk outside and suddenly start floating into the air and then soaring above the tornadoes with none other than my… laptop? I am moving fast flying over and even THROUGH some of the tornadoes. It is an exhilarating feeling. I then land in front of the house again, rush in and hide in the bath tub (good place to go durning a tornado if you don’t have a basement). I wake up.

Recently, Jesus (my best friend) has been speaking to me about writing again and I actually feel like I’m getting more oppurtunities than I have had in awhile. I believe that spirit-led writing and art and music are going to be part of the epic end-time battle… God vs. evil. However, I’m feeling deeply insecure about it. I haven’t written a short story since college, five years ago. I believe that as a prophetic messenger, God will not only be using our voices but elements of art that convey the power and beauty of God. This art, inspired by the spirit of God will have an anointing on it, far more powerful than the demonic anointing that comes from music and media tainted with the spirit of this age. I still feel insecure about it… to the point that I think I will vomit. Ridiculous, huh?

Being in inner healing is bringing a lot of junk from my childhood to the surface. It’s stirring up a lot of past insecurities and pain that God has finally begun a process of healing on. I think it’s for this reason… so that I can contain and receive ideas and dreams from heaven. It’s not a fun season but it is definitely one that is valuable and necessary… but it’s still killing me!


Yesterday was a fasting day. I was in the prayer room during the 4-6 set, taking in all the sights and sounds of a few hundred Jesus lovers gathered to cry out for mercy and pour their hearts out at His feet. I took note of my posture as I was observing the Lord moving on various people in the room. Standing up, I had one hand in my pocket and another grasping an Ozarka water bottle. For a brief moment I had a flashback of myself in this same physical posture at a show in perhaps Dallas or Little Rock, a Bud Lite or a Heineken in hand enjoying the idolization and glorification of the talent of human beings… not to mention the seduction of rampant immorality in these bars and clubs.

Now, I do have to mention that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having fun and enjoying an art form. I have been to shows that have actually inspired me to love God more (though these were performances by Christian bands) and it wasn’t just words but music that awakened something in me.

I think of King Herod in Acts 12 “On the appointed day Herod, wearing his royal robes, sat on his throne and delivered a public address to the people. They shouted, “This is the voice of a god, not of a mere mortal.” Immediately , because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down, and he was eaten by worms and died.”

Not that audiences in most concerts are shouting at the muscians “You MUST be a god!” (though I have to mention that some of them do scream things similar to this), but the majority of bands are completely idolized for their talent. If you think about the hundreds of women (whom most of the musicians take advantage of) that follow them from town to town, this might conclude some of your questions. What about the posters plastered all over the walls of teenage bedrooms? These kinds of things don’t happen to normal folks.

What I love about IHOP is that when outside people visit, more often than not, most of the people don’t have any idea who is playing on stage. They haven’t come to oooh and ahhhh over the musicians (though they might respect the gift God has given them), they have come to seek the living God.

I’ve been learning to play the keyboard for several months now. I’m not really that great. I know a lot of chords and can play rhythm patterns to fit a song but I don’t know how to do any of the “fancy stuff”.

Last night I had a dream I was leading a set at the JPR (I’ve never done this before). It was the same old story. My keyboard skills weren’t great and I was doing just what I needed to do to keep the team at a steady tempo… however there was something intriguing about the whole set. I wasn’t freaking out that I wasn’t the best musician in the world. I might not have had the most amazing skills but the Holy Spirit was there and the music sounded great and people were engaged in what God was doing… all despite myself.

I think that the Lord was reminding me of something in terms of leadership. It’s okay if we don’t have it all together when we are leading a team of people. We are still in the process of learning like everyone else. We may have a ways to go yet but if we are submitting to the leadership of the Holy Spirit in our lives then we know we are heading in the right direction. His leadership is ultimately much more effective than our own.

By Sixpence None the Richer

you are still burning
the flame that is turning
my smoldering ash into a bird
so stay close my brother
I couldn’t stand the loss
you are the bridge of action
I need you to help me cross
I need you to help me

so when you break
my arms I’ll take hold of you
I know your hearts a hand that takes hold of me

my hand that is breaking
is the hand that is making
all the dead things in me grow
a gift of a holy loss
this burning at the dross

so when you break
my arms I’ll take hold of you
I know your hearts a hand that takes hold of me

why do you set out to break the one thing
the one thing that I have to give
its hard to believe that I could
that I should begin again
but I know you heart is a hand

so when I break
your arms you’ll take hold of me
you know my hearts a hand that takes hold of you
so when you break
my arms I’ll take hold of you
I know your hearts a hand that takes hold of me
so when you break
my arms I’ll take hold of you
I know your hearts a hand that takes hold of me

A couple of months ago I made a decision that was one of the more difficult ones I’ve had in awhile… I took my huge pile of secular CDs and dumped them in the trash. I felt a turbulent rush of emotions as I sat staring at my former collection lying forlorn in the garbage can. I know what some of you are thinking… I use to mock people openly if they thought that secular music was of the devil. However, I feel such a connection to music and have been realizing more and more the spiritual effects that it has on me… both good and bad. I’m not going to go into all of the IHOP-speak about the two worship movements at the end-of-the-age because some of you reading this will have no clue what I’m talking about. I will just tell you that it has had a massively negative effect on me and I came to a point that I couldn’t deny it any longer.

So since this has happened I’ve been on a hunt for authentic, sincere Christian Indie music. I wanted something from musicians that were in love with Jesus but had their own individuality along with large amounts of talent. I have learned that these two combos are SOOOOO hard to come by. It’s absolutely aggravating. Having spent five or so years in this industry, I’m starting to have a recollection of just how big of an issue this is. For instance, I was scrounging online for some new music a month or so ago and came upon a band that I really enjoyed. The music was beautiful and charming and different and the lyrics really spoke to my heart. I felt something behind it that blessed me so I made a comment on their Myspace page, consisting of something like “thank you so much for making music that is about Jesus”…. minutes after I wrote this comment, it was erased.

How sad.

I own a great documentary that reveals the plight of this particular music scene. It is entitled “Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music?” (inspired by the song with the same title written by legendary Christian Hippie guy and favorite of my own parents, Larry Norman). It is filmed by two women, unbelievers I might add, that visit Cornerstone Festival in Illinois (a Christian rock festival). In it, we see time after time, Christian musicians (a few of whom I know quite intimately) seemingly embarrassed about being labeled as “Christians”. It made my heart sick… until “Cool Hand Luke” drummer, in heart-wrenching speech during their show choked back sobs as he explained how convicted he felt that every body was tip-toeing around the fact that this festival was suppose to be about Jesus but instead was made to be about rock stardom.

All I can say is don’t we owe Jesus more than this? In fact… don’t we owe Him our very lives and… we can’t even admit it in our music?

Yesterday I was singing for a team at the JPR and we had what I thought was a fantastic set, though I tend to feel deeply insecure every time I walk off stage… I’m hoping that this will change over time. Anyway, I was all concerned that I had botched some things up but one of the guitar players started in on a very profound speech. He is also a guitar player for a popular team at the GPR so he’s pretty experienced, of course. He began to discuss the importance of being able to submit to what the Spirit of God is doing in the room during a set… to not just spout out scriptures because you think you have something good to say but to connect your heart with God and flow together in the Spirit with the rest of the team.

I’ve heard various singers say things like “singing is just like any other thing I do. It has the same emotional significance to me as doing the laundrey.” That just sounds really sad because to me, singing is prayer.  At the same time, however, since I am a fairly new singer to IHOP and haven’t quite gotten accustomed to singing for reasons other than to pump my ego up, I struggle with not allowing my insecurities to overshadow what God is doing in my heart and in the hearts of the others in the room. I know this is a very easy reaction to have as a singer or musician.

Well, I have thought a lot about this speech since last night. The remedy? More soaking prayer. More prayer in general. More prayer room. And not only that but to remember that the reason I’m singing in the first place is to be more in love with Jesus and assist people, globally to be drawn away into a spiritual atmosphere where they can be more in love with Jesus as well.

It’s the same remedy we have when we are struggling with general prophecy. Prophetic singing obviously needs the prophetic spirit behind it. Prophetic singing isn’t just singing whatever comes to mind and having no heart connection to it at all. Prophetic singing is declaring, through music, what is on the heart of Jesus.

I woke up this morning to a voice shouting loudly: “Brooke! It’s ten!”. Initially, I wasn’t really freaked out that a voice, out of nowhere just yelled at me. I thought oh, crap, I’m going to be late for church but when I looked at my clock, it said 9:14. Weird. Then, seconds later, I knew the number ten was significant to me. Biblically, 10 means testing or the commandments and even tithing.

I have been feeling like I am at a halt with my life for awhile now. Lately, things have been looking even more hopeless than they were before. Spiritually, I’ve been feeling dull and callous and cranky. Relationally, it seems like I keep hitting a brick wall. I have had more frustrating things happen this week than I have in a long time. Some of the things that happened were the result of my own stupidity and some of the situations God was using to refine me. Either way, it hasn’t been a pretty week. I have questioned the Lord over and over… WHERE ARE YOU? WHY AREN’T YOU SPEAKING?

As I’ve been pondering the occurances of this week, I’ve realized that God is bringing me to a higher place. Somehow, these aggravating circumstances are all a part of His plan. He’s calling me to a higher level of responsibility, purity, patience, trust, and overall holiness. Responsibility is the main theme of this week. I believe that the Lord has some plans for me in the semi-near future and he recognizes that my responsibility level is not up to par with His standards. I do not have a great reputation for this. I tend to be a little bit too adventurous (those that know me well, know this about me), a little too impuslive, a little too careless… etc. etc. If God can’t trust me with the small things how can He trust me with the hearts of others that I am ministering to?

He has been challenging me in other ways as well. I have been on a roller coaster ride with secular music for awhile. Since I’ve been at IHOP I have been listening to mostly worship music but when I am in the mood I’ll toss in an old indie rock album not thinking too much of this and usually ignoring the warnings of others. I heard briefly the things that others were saying but somehow they just didn’t register and I didn’t feel that I had the whole story. Tonight, a friend sent me a copy of Seth Yates writings on secular music. I almost peed my pants. Now that I am a singer for the House, I feel a much greater responsibility to fill my heart with the presence of God rather than wine of this world.

And somehow, in all of this I need to set myself on the wall and to be steady with it. My greatest love is talking to Jesus. Prayer. But I also need a vision. I need some sort of direction in all of this. Though I know what I would love to do and even some thing that I know the Lord has called me to… I don’t know God enough, nor do I have the faith to believe God can use little me in all of my weakness and brokenness.