As most of you have probably gathered from Facebook, Twitter and previous blog entries, I’m moving away from IHOP to join a community in northwestern Minnesota. As Ottertail (the town that I am moving to) has a population of 450, I can expect that the job search will be slim pickins’. Most of the members of this community own their own businesses. Some work in construction, some in landscaping, some are seamstresses, massage therapists, hair stylists, writers and artists to name a few. I have pondered, for awhile, what I could possibly do to generate some income while in Ottertail. Writing was my first thought and it seems like the natural option given my college experience but depending entirely on myself for income is one of the most frightening situations I have ever experienced.
I am feeling a lot of pressure to preform in this area and am increasingly aware that I’m not as great of a writer as I once thought. I need help! Blogging has actually resulted in a very unpolished feel to my work and my skills are almost bare bones at this point. I am currently looking for others to read my work and give me an honest critique of what they see.
Another slightly annoying thought is that I don’t really want to write about cooking or gadgets or movies. I want to write about Jesus! When you don’t feel passion and excitement for the subjects you are writing about it is hard to connect with the heart of your readers. Even if I offend or anger those I’m writing to (which I’m sure I have), at least I’m gaining their interest. But how can I write about organic basil gardening when I don’t really care about it… at all? I love getting revelation and insight into the Word of God through the Holy Spirit and communicating it to the world in my own words. This is what I want to write about. I am torn between doing what is easiest to make income and doing what is best to communicate truth and the love of Jesus to a dying world.
*sigh* I don’t know what to do.
1. I was an English major, however, I took almost no interest in grammatical studies. I love to read and write (though I can’t say I write well) and that is precisely why I studied English… not to figure out sentence structure but to read and study fantastic literature. In fact, the authors I enjoyed the most were Faulkner and Joyce, both known to be the most spastic, nonsense, stream of consciousness writers in existence. Faulkner is thought to have over 350 spelling and grammatical errors in The Sound and the Fury but I love his writing because it is compelling, thought-provoking and you have to actually THINK when you read his stuff… not to mention the extreme intensity of his stories that are always likeable to extremely intense people like myself.
Anyway, to get to the point I am finally taking time to not only read some good literature (aside from all of the Bill Johnson, Art Katz writings) like Anna Karenina but have also decided to brush up on some grammar, having actually purchased a college grammar text book. I hope this helps because I have become intensely lazy about my usage, sentence structure… heck even my spelling. I need to become un-lazy.
Back to Tolstoy. He is a Russian genious not to mention he became a follower of Jesus later on in his life and later dedicated many short stories to the Lord… many of them analogies for the sermon on the mount (I own a big chunk of the collection).
2. This morning Elizabeth and I were both blow-drying our hair at the same time in two seperate rooms. For a brief moment I thought “I wonder what would happen if we blew a fuse.” Of course, seconds afterward we actually did blow a fuse and neither of us knew where the fuse box was. Suprisingly, after scrambling around the house trying to find a working outlet, I was actually 10 minutes early to work.
3. I think I may have a chance to go to New York in December/January… not sure yet but this is a huge possibility. I have always wanted to visit NY since I was a little girl. My parents lived there for awhile before I was born and they absolutely loved it. I use to read all kinds of stories like The Cross and the Switchblade (about the supernatural beginnings of Teen Challenge –an organization my dad worked for which is basically a spirit-filled rehab center with an 86% success rate of recovery), Run Baby, Run and Jesus Doesn’t Live in Brooklyn. Lately, the Lord has been really stirring things in my heart about New York. When I was in London, I actually received a prophetic word about New York and a week after I got back, Julie Meyer gave a prophetic word about the city.
The truth is I have a heart for people in general. Mostly people who’s hearts are hard toward the gospel. When large cities like London, New York, and Paris get hit with massive out-breaks of the Spirit, it’s just inevitable that the rest of the world will follow. Yes, getting touched by the presence of God is amazing but I want to see people fall in love with Jesus. I want to see countenances changed and hope restored in the lives of broken people. Okay… before I go more on a tangent…
4. Yesterday, I was helping Laura and Erin in receiving and as we were working, Erin popped in a DVD with Heidi Baker speaking. I thought… hmmm… this is far different from my last job where witches would come up to me asking me where the occult section is (I worked at Half-Price Books in Dallas). I love the fact that I work at a job where we can stop for a moment and worship Jesus. I guess I am becoming less and less bitter about being away from my friends. God is really doing things. I’m encouraged.