Misty has a message that I have been repeatedly listening to on this fast where she speaks about reminding herself over and over that when she fasts… it’s not about trying to prove something to herself or anyone else but it is ALL about love.
This rings true in my heart for the next 35 days. When I feel like I might die or the lusts of my flesh continue to rise up in me… I’m doing this for love. I’m doing this to be perfected in love. To know His love that surpasses understanding. To know Him and be known by Him.
When the Pharisees questioned Jesus and asked Him the reason why John’s disciples fasted but Jesus’ did not, He responded “Can you make the friends of the Bridegroom fast while he is with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; in those days they will fast.” I am doing this because He has not returned to the earth yet and this is one way I can be with Him where He is.
It is a beautiful thing.
WHAT IS GOING ON? I feel like I could sponaneaously combust with the amount of downloads I’ve been receiving from the Holy Spirit.
I called my dad tonight. If you don’t know my dad, you should. He’s one cool daddy and one of my best friends. It is certainly not because of his failings as a father that I have made some stupid decisions in my life. He’s also another reason I’m an intercessor because He would get up at like 5:30 or 6 to spend time with Jesus way before we were even up for school (I just know this because I had to get up to pee a lot). Anyway, I was gushing about Art Katz over the phone with him. I think I have an obsession with Art Katz now. Anyway, my dad says in a very casual manner “oh yeah. I took him out to eat a few times.”
“DAD. SHUT UP.” (I do not say this in a disrespectful way… just so you know) My dad laughs softly.
“Dad. No really. SHUT UP. Are you serious?” “Yeah. I worked for Mike Evans in the seventies, remember. Mike is Jewish, Art is Jewish, so I took him out to eat.”
OH MY FREAKING BLUEJEANS.
I can’t believe my dad had dinner with Art Katz not only once but several times. He even had cool stories to tell about him. That’s… insane.
On to other things. Elijah and John the Baptist. WOW. Okay. These guys make me feel like I’m not saved at all.
If you think about it Elijah spent years and years and years out in the wilderness learning how to hear the voice of God so that God could empower him for one incredible moment in history… when he kicked the prophets of Baal in the tail (no pun intended). That is my favorite story in the Bible (oh and also the one about Shadrach, Meshach and Abendigo in the fiery furnace… dang that’s a good one too). How else could he have done what He did? He totally knew how to abide in God. He had years and years of cultivating the Spirit of God in His life and God used Him mightily because of it. John the B as well. The dude dressed the same and ate the same as Elijah and hung out in the wilderness his whole life just so that he could live out this very brief ministry that ended up helping Jesus completly change the world.
Basically after last week I don’t even feel like the same person anymore. Yep. Pretty sure I’m not. In light of all the crazy stuff Jesus is revealing to me about my future, studying the lives of John the Baptist and Elijah… instill terror into my very soul. But I actually feel a tangible outpouring of grace on myself and it’s absalutely mind-blowing.
To put it simply… I feel like wetting myself.
But then I remember the part about Elijah when the people repent after seeing his alter come ablaze with the power of God and how God’s promised rains (because of their repentance) come and Elijah goes up to this cliff top and he puts his face to the ground because he knows that he is weak and he can do nothing apart from God. God gave him what He needed to set that alter ablaze.
Jesus. Help me to always always behold your beauty. Help me to remember each day that it’s all about You. It’s all about You and if I don’t behold Your beauty each day then it is not worth it. Nothing is worth it if I don’t remember Your love. Oh God I need Your grace to do anything, to walk out anything and everything You have called me to.
How many unbelievers try to argue that Christianity is not valid because it’s a crutch? They say that He (or the idea of Him) gives us a sense of belonging, of fulfillment but restrains us in our destiny. They say He is a make-believe story that causes us to feel good about ourselves and to give us an emotional release.
What if I said… metaphorically speaking… that they are right? When do we use a crutch? We use it when our leg is broken or we can’t walk properly on our own. We use it when we have no strength… we use it BECAUSE we have no strength. The truth is we are all weak and all need a crutch. Some of us statisfy this weakness in a false sense of strength such as alcohol or relationships or even… M&Ms. But what if Jesus was our crutch? What if we relied on Him fully to keep our balance, to run this race. We use Him as a “crutch” because if we didn’t have Him we would be on our faces in pain.
I think about John the Baptist. John lived in the wilderness, ate huge, disgusting insects, dressed in weird clothes, lived a life of solitude and probably loneliness for one reason: to wait for Jesus. He prepared the way for Jesus. He had one agenda and one agenda only and when he finally saw Jesus he admitted that he wasn’t even worthy to carry his sandals (a position a slave would have) (Matt. 3:11). When Jesus came on the scene, John stepped out of the way. He knew that THE ONLY REASON he was on this earth was to serve the Messiah. He didn’t care about comfort or money or popularity or position. He cared about One Thing.
My question is only for myself…. why can’t I be like that? I feel that Jesus is expecting much more of me than what I am giving Him. He has raised the bar and well… I’ve been a slacker. I want Jesus to be my crutch.