So track 2 for STI is almost over. Tomorrow will be the last night and I am opting out on the comforts of the Hampton to the barely carpeted floor of the Multi-Purpose Room on the missions base with tons of girls whom I will be watching… all by myself. It has been an incredible learning experience working with these great teens but I have to say that I am a little drained and patience level is lingering on near empty. I love them though. I had a great group this track. I had a lot of leaders in my group and I sort of just let them run the show and steered them in the right direction. I wasn’t trying to cop out of my teaching responsibilities but… I take it as a way to teach them leadership.
One thing I have learned is that I can do absalutely nothing apart from the Lord’s leadership. I am in desperate need of Jesus right now and am relishing this weekend where I can finally spend some alone time with him while not having to worry about teens in the prayer room making paper airplanes.
I think I might need a week or two to process everything that has gone on in my heart the last month and a half. I have a few questions I want to ask myself:
1. Have I learned to love others better?
2. Have I received a greater vision for this generation?
3. Have I learned to be a leader, while stewarding my gifts in the correct way?
4. Have I learned humility, meekness, servanthood, and submission to leadership?
4. And with all of these four questions… what exactly have I learned?
I do know that Joel 2:28 is here. I’m not kidding. There have been unprecedented amounts of open visions among these kids. I believe it is signaling what is to come within the next few months. Ahem. These kids are really hungry for something real. They have a sincere desire to know Jesus on a personal level. It’s convicting, actually. They provoke ME when I should be provoking them.
It’s has been hard to remain emotionally objective the last couple of days… moreso tonight than any other night.. which is one of the excuses for not writing on my blog the last couple of days. I wish I could spill my guts right now but I don’t think I could put into words the things that have been going on during this track of STI, not only in the hearts of the teens but in my own heart. I think God started something huge tonight in my life. I knew it was going to happen while I was in STI. I knew that I was in this program for a reason.
The one thing I can say openly is that I know that Jesus is with me this very moment. I know and have seen that He has been walking right by my side the last couple of days, though He’s insisting that He’s been there for years and I just didn’t realize it.
Amen. God is good.
So many of my girls are leaving today. I will miss them so much! Abigail and Nichole are staying for tracks 2 and 3, however. Abigail is the sister of Sara Edwards, a nightwatch worship leader. She is an amazing girl and very mature for her age. I love to see the gift of leadership combined with her meekness. Nichole basically got saved while she was here. I’m so excited about the things God has in store for this girl. She had to make a lot of hard decisions while she was here and she was willing to give God all of her heart even when it was so difficult. What is also exciting is that she has made a decision to move here and be in FITN and afterward go to FMA. I feel like a proud mama.
Amber is a sweet girl from Alabama and I have seen such a transformation from her. God has really shaken everything that can be shaken in her life. I’ve seen her in tears several times and I have to kind of giggle to myself when she makes comments like “I’m so terrified about living in the tribulation! I just pray to Jesus every day that He’ll electrocute me before I have to live through it!” I explained to her that if she continues to draw closer to the Lord every day that she will be ready when all of this happens on the earth. True lovers will die for the ones they love without question.
Amy and Christine are my little seers. I am amazed by the gift God has given them and the great maturity I’ve seen in their hearts as they impart this gift in the correct manner. The things God has done to bring healing into Amy’s life has been super fun to watch. The Lord has a big assignment for her. I’m postive of it.
Rebecca is a typical Mary of Bethany (as atypical as this is). Her heart is so positioned to love and receive love from Jesus. I love to watch her worship because the love on her face is so evident. She has plans on coming back to IHOP after she graduates. This does not suprise me one bit. The girl rocks.
All of my girls are awesome but these are the stories that really stuck out. Way to go Jesus!
So the day hasn’t been the greatest. Because of rainy weather we were unable to take the teens to Shiloh tonight to see the fire works. I spent most of my day off nursing a bad cold in my hotel room and when I returned to the base to help, most of the kids, including myself were a bit grouchy. I think this is mostly due to the fact that there is only one day left of STI and they are all getting cabin fever. I will be glad to sit here with my Bible tonight. I have a lot of things on my mind that I have got to get alone with God about.
Speaking of… I better get to it.
I have some friends/partners visiting this weekend for the Onething Youth Conference. They have a couple of really cool teenagers but they also have two younger kids. Cody is 7 years old and about a month ago, my friend, Cody’s mom, was praying with him before he went to bed. He asked her, “mom, what do you think I should be when I grow up?” She responded “I don’t know Cody, what do you want to be?”
This was his reply: “I think I want to pray for people when they get sick. Like Brooke does.”