God doesn’t see as man sees. Imagine yourself as an older brother with several runts below you in age and stature. A famous prophet comes to your parents home looking to anoint a new king. Of course, you’ll get the title. The king is ALWAYS the firstborn. Everybody knows this. There is no question that you are the most qualified. But instead the prophet comes, sizes you up, and moves to the next oldest brother… then the next… then the next… then the next. After he has made his way down the row (and you are still seething that he did not choose you at first glance) the prophet asks where your very youngest brother is. The puny little brother, David. This is the brother that is so below you that his job in the family is to hang out with the smelly sheep all day, which was almost equivalent to a slaves position in that day. You try to rationalize why in the world God would choose David, of all people, and you finally come to the conclusion that the only reason David is chosen is because he’s a good-lookin’ kid… which makes you even more angry. So what do you do to make yourself feel better? You accuse him of pride and arrogance. I mean who does he think he is? He thinks he’s soooooo spiritual hanging out in the fields singing to God all day. He really thinks he’s something else. Spiritual pride. That’s what David has.
…… and this is the reason God did not choose Elia, David’s older brother. In fact, Elia had the same spirit as that of Saul, the current wicked king. What a train wreck Israel would be if Elia had gotten the position that he had wanted. He was full of jealousy and pride, himself… and God knew exactly what the state of his heart was.
David, on the other hand, had qualities that his family refused to acknowledge. But God saw them and chose Him because of these qualities. God looked at David’s heart and his family rejected him for it. God saw that David’s desire was to please Him and Him alone. His desire was to be holy… to not trust in his own accomplishments or talents but to trust that everything he had was given to him by God. David sought the Lord instead of the power and prestige of man. God chose David for His own pleasure. He knew David loved to sit under the pleasure of God and He knew David was grounded in the identity of His delight. This is what God looks for in a leader.
Over and over I have seen God choose those that others have rejected. In fact, in most cases, God chooses on purpose, and anoints those that have experienced rejection… at least the ones that refuse to have a bitter spirit. I have seen it in my own family, in fact. My great-grandfather, John Turner, was rejected and kicked out of his own home… he was ostrasized from His family as David was because of his true encounter with the living God. God went on to choose my great-grandfather to be the first spirit-filled missionary to northern India where the Lord used him to bring many to Jesus. Joseph, in the Bible, was rejected by his family and accused of pride. Every single one of the true prophets of Israel were rejected because of their rebukes to the leaders of Israel and accused of pride… and often murdered for speaking truth.
Bob Sorge in his book Dealing with Rejection and the Praise of Man, says that if you have a prophetic call on your life, chances are you will be rejected time and time again by religious leaders. Rejection is a training period for those who have a prophetic identity.
I know in moments of rejection in my own life… and I am currently still dealing with some of it that has happened recently… I have to really run to the Lord to learn how to walk out love and to continue to position my heart before the Lord, being careful not to grow bitter or to allow offense in my heart. It is rather difficult and I have repeatedly messed up but I know that without allowing the Lord to change my heart and help me to grow in love, I will not be pleasing to the Lord.
I’ve often wondered which side of the family I get my prophetic dreams from. Oftentimes, spiritual gifts are passed on through generations. I discovered today, that this gift was passed onto me from my father’s side of the family.
My dad had been in full-time ministry for twenty years and because of life circumstances, had to leave and get a “real job” when I was about 17 or 18. But for some reason, crazy stuff would happen. Many of the businesses he worked for would close up. Random, weird things would happen and he was not excelling at all in his job. I remember the Lord speaking to me about this many times while praying for my family and one day I called Dad up and told him that he was having problems in his new career, simply because he was called to ministry and the Lord had lifted favor off of him for that reason. Of course, I was his little girl so my credibility in life situations wasn’t exactly reasonable so he didn’t necessarily agree with me ;).
Well about a couple of years ago my dad had a dream that he was in a prison wearing an orange jumpsuit with a bunch of other prisoners… and who was there with him but Jesus, Himself! My Dad and Jesus rounded up the prisoners and led them out of prison… a long stream of them.
Sometime later, not sure if it was a few months or a year later, my Dad hears of a position as a ministerial counselor in a nearby prison. He applies for the job and they interview him THREE times… but they decide to hire someone else. It was a pretty big disappointment. But dun dun dun……
Today, Dad phones me and tells me that yes… a year or so after he was denied the position, they call him up and offer the job to him FOR REAL this time. I responded to the news with a simple statement “it’s just like the dream Jesus gave you Dad!”
You see, Jesus gives us little hints like this to confirm that when it actually happens… it is because of HIM all the way! I am so thankful for his provision and leadership and that He loves to be a part of our lives.
During college I worked as a supervisor for the afternoon program at a Montessori School in Little Rock. At the time, though I was pretty spiritually immature, I was also mildly vocal about my faith. I would often have spiritual discussions with my co-workers, many of whom claimed to be Christians. *Maria was a good friend of mine at work. She was very funny, somewhat controversial in her subject matter but when you were around her, you most definitely had a good time. She was a riot to hang out with.
One afternoon I snuck into the teachers lounge to warm up my lunch when I saw an open yellow pages on the table and noticed that it was open to the “abortion” section. I tried to shrug it off, thinking that it was just a mistake and that it just happened to be open to that page but I had a sneaking suspicion that one of my co-workers might be in trouble.
At the end of the week I was alphabetizing a school directory when Maria came into my office and shut the door behind her. She had a bewildered look in her eye.
“Brooke. I came to you, because I know you’re a Christian.” Maria said. She looked anxious. I felt anxious.
“I have five-hundred dollars in my pocket right now to go have an abortion this afternoon.” She became silent and waited for me to respond. The statement hung in the air, suspended like one of those Japanese paper lanterns… only a lot heavier.
I leaned forward and looked into her eyes and told her that if she aborted this baby she was murdering her own child. I told her that the child had a destiny and the the Lord was already drawing up plans for that destiny and she had no business altering the plans of God for her child. I told her that if she had that abortion she would be guilty of the bloodshed of a perfectly innocent human being and that she would be judged for it by God Himself. She would be judged because she not only knew it was evil (otherwise she wouldn’t have come to me, knowing I would try and talk her out of it), but because someone had warned her of how insidiously evil it was.
What happened? Ten months later she was strolling down our hallway with a tiny little boy named Michael.
I love Maria to death and I know that decision was a truly difficult one for her. She already had one child from a pregnancy when she was fifteen and now she would not only be a single mother for one but TWO children. I don’t pretend to realize that this would be an easy thing for her. But now she has this beautiful, precious little Image Bearer who was formed skillfully and uniquely for the enjoyment and pleasure of God.
We as Believers in Christ have the responsibility of warning this world of the judgement that sin will cause. Not only because we too will be judged but because those who commit that sin will be judged as well. It’s called mercy.
So I’m going through an inner healing program right now. It’s absolutely one of the most brutal experiences of my life. It’s funny how things are popping up that haven’t happened in literal years. People popping back into my life (briefly) who had previously caused a lot of pain, apologizing for the mistakes they’ve made. Family secrets that have been hidden for years being exposed and generational strongholds being revealed. It has been a lot to take in. In essence, I’ve been handling it by hiding. Finally, this weekend I decided to actually lean into Jesus rather than avoid Him. I’d been frustrated about not hearing from Him during this difficult time, but it was really mostly because I was too scared to let Him into certain aspects of my heart. So I spent much of the evening in the prayer room yesterday. This resulted in me finally having some dreams.
The first dream, I was at my childhood home in northern Wisconsin. My boss, Kristen Anderson was there and someone had stolen the security system out of her car. She called the “car company” to see if they could replace it but they wouldn’t so they had to tow her car away.
At first I thought the dream was about Kristen and was going to tell her I thought I might have had a prophetic dream about her but when I told the dream to my OTHER boss, Dale, she mentioned that the place that the dream was taking place in was very significant and the scene was the home of my childhood.
So I pieced the symbols together. Kristen, is my boss, so this speaks of authority. The car speaks of ministry, and my parents were both pastors. The security system was stolen from them. It all started to make sense. When I was around 11 or 12 there were some serious issues in our church. It’s sort of a long story but one of the major major disruptions was when my dad was accused of stealing $10,000 from our church. A huge split happened and there were rumors spread all over my small town about my family. In the end, the truth was found out and it involved a mistake of someone else in the church. My parents ended up staying at this church for another five years but that year caused a lot of insecurity issues with my parents. At the time of this happening, I was really tough about the whole situation. I don’t remember feeling a lot pain, but definitely felt a lot of anger towards the people that were treating my family in this manner. I’ve always felt, for some reason, that I needed to be strong for my mom. I think my mom suffered more than anyone else in the situation. My dad handled the situation as well but I think that I internalized a lot of the pain I felt and covered it with an appearance of resolve and indignation at the injustice. Without knowing it, I believe that this scenario caused a deep level of insecurity in me because of the shattering of outward security in my parent’s lives. I will write more at another time.
I will add another dream (or what I can remember of it). This one I really have no clue what it is talking about but I’m hoping that someone else gets it.
I had moved back in with my grandmother in Little Rock. In my dream, I had a room there ready for me. It was a room from my childhood and I had a lot of other things from my childhood in the room. However, when I went to move into the room a girl I hardly know, named Joelle was in my room playing guitar. Like I said, I barely know Joelle, but I looked up the meaning of her name and it means “be willing”. Anyway, I saw her and I went into another room next door to this room. It was like I was talking to her through the wall of the two rooms and I was saying that I should have brought my keyboard so that we could worship together.
So I kind of think it is the Lord calling me out to be willing to see the painful things from my childhood but to worship Him in the midst of it. Yikes! If anyone else gets more interpretation from it, let me know. I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
I haven’t seen my family in so long, I had forgotten how hilarious and sarcastic they are when they are all together. You definitely learn to have a thick skin after awhile. I also now realize that they are just as weird as I am. Of course, I had to endure some semi-traumatic interrogation about my future but everything else has been quite alright.
My mom and I slept in the same bed last night and she kept me up most of the night with her extremely loud snoring. I think I might be taking a nap today after we do some hiking in the woods. My Aunt Becky and Uncle John live on the most beautiful piece of land… typical Wisconsin woods. I think we’re going to go check out some waterfalls nearby. There are waterfalls and lovely woods all over Wisconsin… one thing I miss
I grew up in the cheese state (aka Wisconsin) and tomorrow I will be re-visiting the home of my youth. This is going to be a challenging week for me in terms of family. I’m pretty sure that many of my relatives think I’m flaky, considering my occupation. But, then again… I’m pretty sure they’ve always thought I was weird. I cried a lot when I worshiped. I went on dangerous missions trips to El Salvador at 14 and 15. I started a Bible Club in my high school when I was the only Christian on campus. I talked about Jesus CONSTANTLY to EVERYONE. Alas, I was also pretty judgmental (the mistakes I made in adulthood took care of much of this issue, however). It’s true that all of my Aunts and Uncles grew up in an Assemblies of God church in Wausau, Wisconsin, but things have changed with many of them and the AG hasn’t always been big on personal prophecy… which is one thing that I am “personally big on”, having helped lead a prophetic team here on base and participate in other teams. I’m pretty sure that my grandmother is the only one that attends a Spirit-Filled church (the same AG Church she’s attended most of her life).
Anyway, I haven’t seen this side of my family in about 5 years and there have been some family issues in the last few years that I’ve had to fight to not feel resentment and bitterness about. My reservations about this trip are manifesting themselves in a very grumpy attitude lately. I’m excited to see all of my cousins and aunts and uncles but I’m also pretty nervous. I want to walk out love while I am with them. I don’t want to at all push anything down their throats but would like to just enjoy spending time with them and showing them Jesus.