*Disclaimer* This post is not directed toward any particular dude and I do understand that there are men who do not behave in this way and are also responsible, respectful guys. FYI
I recently came across THIS ARTICLE by a writer for CNN. Take a minute to read the entire thing… right now…
I’m still waiting….
Are you finished? Okay.
I have thought a lot before I began to write this blog. I don’t want this to be a bitter rant against men. I love men. I really do. I have lots of men that are friends and I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with them. But oh my word… I would really like to see some things change. Sure, we women have enough of our own problems but this article isn’t about that… I’ve written enough blogs describing the wound women have to “need” men in their lives. So I’m just coming straight out with it… men… we need you to “man up”. For real.
- Stop flirting with girls to feed your ego, leading them on and then not following through with anything. STOP IT.
- Don’t ask a girl out unless you actually want to get married in the future. If you don’t want to ever get married, then don’t ask her out because trust me… she’s gonna want to tie the knot some day. Which leads me to the next point:
- Stop the crap about not wanting to get married. You’re either lying because you are insecure, you’re being selfish, or you are simply scared out of your mind. Get over yourself. Please.
- Stop communicating to girls strictly through text, email, and Facebook chat. AT LEAST give the girl a call. Better yet, why don’t you call her up and actually ask her to hang out (like in person… not over Skype)? If you want to be friends first, I think that is perfectly fine. I prefer that… but seriously. You’re not thirteen. It’s okay to be in the same room with the girl and speak with her face to face.
- It’s not the end of the world if we say no. Ask us out anyway. Take a risk. These days, I have to tell you that the fact that you actually had the nerve to ask us out is incredibly attractive in itself. Courage is absolutely the hottest characteristic in a man.
The original purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship between the Bridegroom God and His bride (the church). Maybe some of you don’t really understand the heart of God towards His bride… maybe that’s why you don’t quite know how to treat a woman. But let me tell you something: God PURSUES his Bride. He thinks His bride is incredibly precious… so precious in fact that He sacrificed His own Son for her. God created a need inside of women to know that we are worth something, to be valued by both men and God. So when you talk about a woman being “needy”… it’s actually true. We need to know that we are worth more than your X BOX, your $3,000 guitar, your ministry, your car, your ego and even your reputation. Marriage, is in essence, one of the most beautiful covenant acts you can undertake. If you want to demonstrate the love of Christ to others, start by demonstrating it in how you pursue women and treat them with respect and dignity.
Now, I realize that there are deeper issues here than what we see on the surface. There has been a extreme lack of fathering in the church. Many men my age have not had great demonstrations of fatherly love in their lives. This hurts my heart and for this reason, I do have a lot of compassion for them. But that doesn’t mean that things are impossible. Why? Because they have a Father who is proudly waiting for His sons to step forward in this area. Whether they realize it or not, He is cheering them on, calling them to be a reflection of Himself– the Pursuer. He is putting supernatural courage in their hearts, revealing to them their true identities as royal men, sons of a King. He is showing them their worth and value… their destinies and callings as righteous men of God who lead with strength and love. And we ladies believe this is in you too. We haven’t given up on you. We know what you are capable of and we see that strength already inside of you, waiting to come out.
If I sounded harsh, that actually was my intention. Very few have been hard enough on you guys. But that’s only because I know you can do this. I believe in you and so does your Father.