Last week as I was consulting with my guitar teacher and friend, Jason, I expressed my need to throw my guitar across the room and smash it into a thousand pieces. After asking me why I was so frustrated he went on to explain to me that I was moving much further ahead than what I had been assigned to do. I wasn’t ready yet for what I was attempting to accomplish. But I wanted to play real songs… any songs… not just one or two that happened to have the right chords in them. I confessed to him that I was an extremely impatient person. But Jason decided to turn the guitar lesson into a Sunday School lesson…. or a counseling session would probably be more like it.
“Brooke. I think the Lord is using this experience to do something bigger in you than just learning guitar.” He went on to explain that there were so man spiritual analogies with this journey. What if God felt toward me how I felt toward my guitar? What if He was as impatient with me as I was with my instrument? What if he tried to force me to do ten minute licks when I hadn’t even learned bar chords yet?
Tonight as I lay in bed allowing the Holy Spirit to examine my heart, I realized how hard I was being on myself knowing that Jesus isn’t the same way toward me. And the harder we are on ourselves, the harder we are on others. It just comes naturally. Self-deprecation and false humility are really just a disguise for our misunderstood identities. When we have a hard time seeing ourselves in the truth of who we are to Him, we fail to honor others for who God has created them to be. We fail to see beauty all around us.
What we do have the ability to do is allow Abba to pick us up, set us in His lap and tweak our strings so that we sound beautifully.