Arise and Come Away With Me…

I have been a resident of Ottertail Minnesota for almost two months now and I still have no idea what my purpose is here. Leaving IHOP to come to this tiny town has been a smooth transition but I am starting to get a little restless. This week I have started working at a law office and I am grateful for my job here but am starting to wonder what I should be really doing with my life. What I  want to do is write for a living but I also have to be responsible and have enough money to pay my bills each month. Setting up a copy writing or freelance business requires research and plenty of time to do the work… as well as some sort of internet connection which I don’t have at my current residence. How to fit all of this in alongside ministry responsibilities is something I am also trying to manage.

On my heart the most, even more than beginning a writing business, is my desire to introduce others to the all-consuming love of Jesus and to teach about intimacy and prayer. However, one minor detail of this vision is that I need to end this plague of fear of man. It is the single most annoying weakness in my life and one that will prevent me from walking out the assignments and dreams the Lord has for me.

So here I am with oppurtunity awaiting me and fear holding me back from it. The only alternative I have to be free from it is talking to the Lord each day about this struggle and allowing Him to “do His thing”.

If you haven’t already, I encourage you to check out http://amandabeattie.wordpress.com/

This girl is brilliant with a capitol B. Although I love all of her blogs her latest one appears to be my favorites.

I’ve been experiencing some opposition regarding my upcoming move to Minnesota in two months.  Mostly, of course, this is coming from my family where they may respond with statements such as, “well, if it’s God, than everything will work out how it’s suppose to.” In the natural that sounds like a pleasant thought. In fact, I would love for that to be true. I would feel so much more confident in making this decision. The truth is, I’m not worried about whether this move is from God or not. I think that has been made perfectly clear. The problem is… that statment just isn’t true (though I WISH it were!).

God called Paul to spread the Gospel yet he was thrown in prison, beaten, shipwrecked and stoned… that didn’t mean he hadn’t heard the voice of God. In reality we must accept that most likely, especially when God has called us out from familiarity, we should expect that warfare will happen. After all, Ephesians 6 says that our battle is not with flesh and blood. My battle is not about making sure that I get a job as soon as I get to MN. It’s not about making sure my life will be comfortable… it’s  about obeying God whatever the cost and trusting in His leadership… not to make me feel happy, content, and comfortable but to make His name known.

At about 1 am a week and a half ago I was sitting at a kitchen table in the tiny town of Norton, Kansas. I was hanging out with a friend of mine that I have known for about twenty years. She and her husband were my youth pastors long (too long) ago.  I was sharing with her a powerful and significant encounter that I had with the Lord almost a year ago now and how I knew, at that time, He was inviting me on an incredible journey with Him through the Song of Songs. ” So where in the journey do you think you are?” Annette, my friend asked.

I hesitated a little, examined my fingernails and responded with: ” 2: 17… when she tells her beloved to go to the mountains without her.” Annette giggled a little. “I don’t know why I feel like I’m saying no to the Lord. As far as I know He hasn’t asked me to do anything. I just feel like He’s going to ask me and I won’t be ready. I like where I’m at.”

My friends had asked me several times to come visit them in Norton.  A ministry group out of  Minnesota came once or twice to their church each year and they insisted, each time, that I should come and check them out. Life at IHOP is always busy so it seemed that something always came up when this group was in town. This year, however, my schedule was clear so I finally headed to Norton to see my old friends and check out this supposedly amazing prophetic worship team that James and Annette couldn’t stop raving about. As I hung out with this group, known as the Firestarters, I became increasingly nervous but I couldn’t identify what the problem was.

Later that night, James, Annette, and I were up again late into the night when I began sharing with James a dream I had about a year ago. For the sake of time, I won’t describe the dream but it was basically about how I would be living with a community of believers who would take me in and become a covering for me (of course I didn’t realize what it was about at the time). James began interpreting the dream to me and the only response I had was: “this can’t be good”. Last summer, as I was sharing this dream with a prophetic leader at IHOP, her only response was “I think you will have the interpretation of this dream in a year.”…. interesting.

I’m not going to vividly describe the events of the weekend. Nothing incredibly dramatic occurred, only a haunting uneasiness that I couldn’t shake. After returning to IHOP my heart was saying, you need to join this community but my head was saying I’m not listening to you, heart, you are crazy.

The following Saturday I spent the majority of the afternoon in the prayer room. At one point I was standing in the back leaning against the wall, honestly trying to drown out the voice of God when another prophetic leader came up to me and said, “Brooke. You are trying to make a decision aren’t you?”. I just looked at her blankly. She continued anyway, “the Lord says that He is moving you to a new place. It’s going to be different than what you are use to but you have to know that it is Him speaking this to you. You are going to walk through this with Him. He says you are ready.” She went on in greater detail and all that I could manage to do was shake my head in disbelief. I walked out of the prayer room to get some fresh air only to run into another friend that I haven’t seen in some time. We had a casual conversation for awhile when my friend mentioned that she had been thinking of me earlier this week and the Lord spoke to her and told her that I wouldn’t be at IHOP for much longer. Okay… so this is starting to get frightening.

Let’s just say I cried myself to sleep that night… or actually I didn’t sleep at all…  I just cried and then God spoke to me that verse again “come with me to the mountains!” He said.  This time I didn’t say no. I decided to say Yes.

The kicker happened last night. I headed to the prophecy rooms as a last-ditch effort to prove Him wrong (like that’s going to happen). What did I hear? “The Lord wants you to know that wherever He is calling you right now, to not be afraid. You are in His perfect will. His hand is on this so you will be safe and you have nothing to fear because you are exactly where He wants you.” As if this wasn’t enough, he continued “I also see Him holding His hand out to you and asking you, like in Song of Songs, to arise and come away with Him to the mountains.”

So my little brother phones me at around midnight tonight and all that I can think of when I see his name on my caller ID is that he has gotten himself into trouble again (don’t ask about the trouble he’s gotten himself into before).  I can hear a crowd of people around him and I remember that this week his no-budget, full-length  film, “Slumberland” was premiering at the Little Rock Film Festival this week.

Turns out his little indie film won… BEST PICTURE!!!!

The festival president even made the remark that he was honored that Zach and his buddies chose to play their film at LRFF first and that he was looking forward to watching the film at many other festivals.

Zach has been through a lot this year and I’m very excited to see something good happen to him. Though I’m praying that some other things happen in his life as well (I’m sure he knows what they are), I am very proud of him and love him to pieces.

Rebbecca Kurtz novel, Sons of God was written from Kurtz fascination with archaeological studies and ancient writings about the Nephilim. The Nephalim are only directly mentioned in one part of the entire Bible: Genesis 6:1-3

Then the Lord said,

“My Spirit will not contend with human beings forever, for they are mortal, their days will be a hundred and twenty years.”

The Nephilim were on the earth in those days-and also afterward- when the sons of God went to the daughters of human beings and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

The Lord saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth and the Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created- and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.

Sons of God is centered around a character named Raechev (Hebrew form of Rachel) who though she believes in the true God, Elohim, is an immortal Nephilim that has lived for thousands of years. She was born to Ishtar, a Babylonian Nephilim who was worshipped as a god and who allowed humans to worship her by sacrificing their own children. Raechev, though righteous, refuses to kill her own mother, whom Elohim commands her to kill in order to bring about His righteous judgements. Though Raechev sees the evil her mother is committing, she disobeys Elohim and is forced to wander the earth, immortal, for thousands of years and forbidden to enter the righteous City of Refuge that was built to protect the righteous Nephilim.

Kurtz, a self-proclaimed Messianic Jewish Believer, derived much of her material from texts including the Koran, the book of Enoch, and other ancient Babylonian and Assyrian writings.

It is my intent to write a balanced review of this novel in the light that as this is a public forum, I believe I have a responsibility as a Believer in Jesus to write my opinion based on my own knowledge of the Word of God.

Most of the story takes place in the modern day Ninevah archaeological excavation site as Raechev struggles with the sadness of being separated from Elohim while also trying to stay safe from the unrighteous Nephilim spirits who are still roaming the earth, sometimes possessing the bodies of human beings.

In the novel, most of us are able to identify with the pain Raechev feels from her separation from God. We feel the ache and loneliness and yet the refusal to accept the cost of following God and handing Him our very lives. Most of us have lived through those moments of despair when we believed the lie that disobedience was safer and more enjoyable than giving God access to our hearts.

Kurtz plays to the current trend of vampire literature among young people by writing a novel that mirrors the styles and themes of literature that are so popular right now. In some sense she removes the dark witchcraft connotations while subtely introducing the atonement and the grace of Jesus Christ.

On the other hand there are definitely some aspects of this novel we must be aware of. I believe that as we write literature from the standpoint of a Believer in Jesus, we must also cause it to line up with the very Word of God. Now, of course we need to remember that Rebecca’s novel is in fact just that… a novel. It is a work of fiction, not a textbook on theology or doctrine. However, stories can be powerful tools to communicate truth and can be especially powerfully to impressionable youth. So as in everything else in our lives, truth must also be present in everything that we do.

As most of you know I am a believer in the supernatural. I believe that Ephesians 6 is true: “for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms”.

I have personally been an eyewitness to both angels and demons and I believe that there is a (sometimes) unseen realm constantly at work around us. I also believe in the gifts of the Spirit. I believe that we can hear and should regulary listen to the voice of God for ourselves and others as expressed in 1 Corinthians 14. I have had many powerful encounters with Jesus, dreams, visions and am also a member of a prophecy team here at the International House of Prayer.

However, we need to be mindful of the very thin line between supernatural darkness and supernatural light. 1 John 1:4 exhorts us to “test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.”

As someone who has in the past dabbled with the occult sciences, some of the content of this novel was startling to me. She uses telepathic communication as an every day occurrence with the characters and mentions psychics and clairvoyants but does not seem to be clear at all that both of these groups are clearly not from God and don’t operate from the Spirit of God.

Rebecca’s theology on demons is also questionable. In it she inferences that demons are disembodied spirits of Nephilim and that we are always to be on a look out of their possession of us. We need to be careful as doers and hearers of the Word to not add or take away anything from God-breathed scripture.

You shall not add to the Word which I command you, neither shall you take away from it, so that you may keep the commands of Jehovah your God which I command you. Duet. 4:2

Pro 30:6  Do not add to His Words, lest He reprove you and you be found a liar.

We need to remember that Nephilim, according to scripture, were wiped out by the flood and all that survived were righteous Noah and his family members. According to the scripture that I copied in the very beginning of this blog, God was not happy with humans for breeding with these Nephilim. Some believe that humans were practicing some sort of witchcraft and demon worship and are believed to have called down the Nephilim as an act of disobedience and defiance against trusting in Yahweh. This was evidently the reason God was so angered with human beings and “regretted” that He had created them at all.

I also believe that we need to be cautious of over-emphasizing the demonic. Over fascination with demons is almost borderline demon-worship in that we are givng too much attention to wickedness rather than the One True God. Jesus wants our attention and the truth is worshipping HIM is the best sort of spiritual warfare we can have.

Another area of the novel that I believe we also need to be aware of, especially if teenagers and young people will be reading it, is the amount of subtle impure suggestion it contains.  In the story, the two main characters, Raechev and Jordan are both obviously attracted to eachother. Though there’s nothing wrong with a good love story, I believe that there were way too many inferences and suggestive joking regarding bathing together, lingering impure stares, close to graphic make-out scenes and even subtle complacency about premarital sex. Kurtz didn’t seem to want to make it a prudish novel but also didn’t seem to be clear on sexual boundaries in this book  which is especially dangerous for the young crowd that would be reading this book.

And so to be perfectly honost, though I believe Rebecca’s intentions are good in wanting to relate to young fans of vampire/supernatural literature and even somewhat directing them to God, I will not recommend this book.

A couple of months ago at the Passion for Jesus Conference I was taking a break from the fury of the bookstore and sprawled across the bleachers to listen to Mike’s message. He made a statement that I have probably heard a hundred times but this time it felt like I was hearing it for the first time. He said “IHOP is not the first dream of my heart. IHOP is my assignment but loving God is the first dream of my heart.”

Huh

This should be obvious.

But apparently it wasn’t obvious enough because that statement has been haunting me since March.

At some point we have to lay down all of our romantic notions and expectations about life and learn to enjoy, love and live for God with everything we have. We have to be okay with just loving God in the present and if that is all that he ever calls us to, than it should be enough.

It’s okay and even necessary to have other dreams and visions. But if we don’t have love for God as the primary dream of our heart, all of our accomplishments and goals will eventually shrivel up and die.

And so as Julie Meyer spoke of at Friday night EGS, I am embracing the backrow for this season and embracing the Lover of my soul for my lifetime ahead.

I saw Marley and Me with a friend tonight and bawled like a baby.

I owned a yellow lab for over three years. Thankfully he is still a member of the family as my dad now keeps him and they are great buddies. His name is Neo (yes, he’s named after the Matrix character, and no, it wasn’t my idea). I think I identified with almost every scene in the movie (except the death scene– praise God!). I often ask myself why Neo is now the most perfect, obedient dog known to man but when I owned him, though I loved him like my child, he was an absolute terror and nightmare.

So in honor of my precious pooch I am going to list some of those hideously beautiful moments with the coolest dog in the world.

* Once, when going to my backyard shed to retrieve Christmas ornaments I saw Neo, then about 8 months old, happily charging for me at full speed. Mind you, in my arms I carried a large box full of breakable Christmas ornaments. Instead of slowing down… even a little bit, Neo decided to jump on me full force and knock me over… along with my box of ornaments. If that weren’t enough, he decided that it would be even more fun to drag me by my pants leg across the yard in the mud.

*It was a Saturday morning and I went outside to put some food in Neo’s bowl. I was wearing a very modest robe but I didn’t have much going on underneath. My 9 year old neighbor was in the yard directly behind ours raking leaves. Neo, as always, was elated to see me and proceeded to almost completely tear my robe off of me. Yeah. Slightly humiliating.

*I hated bugs but Neo loved them. We had these huge water bugs that flew around outside our home… they resembled cock roaches and were absolutely disgusting. My ex let him in the house one night and as Neo huffed and puffed from the hot day I noticed a HUGE water bug lying across his tongue. I freaked and started screaming and running from him. He thought I was playing so he attempted to chase me around the house while I panicked. The end result was me standing on top of the kitchen table and Neo trying to get up there with me.

* Neo loved to take my things and run away with them. He did this to play, of course, but it made me furious. One day I got so mad, I took one of his chew toys, waved it in his face and ran around the house while he chased me. Neo had never been known to bury anything in all of his two years but the very next day I noticed a little mound of dirt in the back yard and there was his chew toy. He was making sure that I would never take his things again. However, this slight irritation did not prevent his thievery.

* He would often get jealous while I was on the phone. One day, as I was actually talking to his breeder, he reached up and pulled a couple of my beautiful Pier 1 bowls off of the countertop, shattering them to pieces. This is the first time I have ever seen him with a sincere expression of guilt on his face. Before I even reacted, he tucked his tail between his legs, put his head down and scratched the door to be let out.

*It was impossible to go swimming with this dog. He followed me around everywhere I went while I was swimming and insisted on “rescuing me” by latching onto my arm with his teeth and pulling me out of the pool (yes, we took him to my grandmother’s pool to swim).

*Even at ninety pounds Neo loved to sit in my lap… even while I was driving. I eventually had to buy a special seatbelt for him just to keep him from causing an accident.

*I often took Neo swimming in a nearby river where he would chase ducks, sometimes further than I felt was comfortable. Sometimes he would be in the middle of the river, treading water for 45 minutes. He rarely came when I called for him so I developed a special system. I would call his name and when he didn’t answer I would yell ‘BYE NEO!!!’, turn around and start walking up to my car. He would immediatley start swimming back to shore and chase after me. It was the only thing that worked!

*Like most other Labrador Retrievers, Neo was OBSESSED with water. So obsessed, in fact, that he would turn over his water bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor and lay in the puddle. I would fill up a small kiddie pool during the summer and he would spend the day paddling around that thing— literally paddling.

I could probably go on and on about this dog. Like I said, his behavior has drastically changed. He now brings my dad his shoes and the newspaper in the morning. Though my dad lives by a lake, Neo won’t even go in the water unless dad says that he can. He might pace right along the edge and huff and puff but is always obedient. In both the good and the bad, Neo has always been a loyal friend. He might be a little extreme in his affection but he knows how to love.

In the last few days, my roommate Katie and I have been on a hunt for the perfect midtown apartment. We’ve discovered homes from circa 1920’s era painted in oranges, blues and greens complete with the original crown molding as well as art deco 60’s apartments with cool patios overlooking the historic, plush neighborhood. One particular apartment is right across from a big high school football field and is only a two block walk to Westport and maybe another block or two to the Plaza.

Why exactly do we want to move to this area? Why not stay a comforting distance to an area that is actually covered in prayer and with neighbors who you can occasionally hear travailing in the Spirit? Why would I want to live right next to a yoga center that teaches transcendental meditation? Why would I want to live across the street from a Scientology center? And Westport is not exactly the most ideal spiritual climate either. Yes, it has one of the best sushi restaurants in the city and is home to one of my favorite bookstores but it also has a quite prevalent drug culture. The Plaza? What other place in Kansas City reeks more with the spirit of this age?

What if we gathered intercessors in this area and together we changed the spiritual climate of this very dark neighborhood?

The last few days that Katie and I have been in this area to look at apartments, I have been getting slimed in my dreams which is not normal for me at all. My room doesn’t even contain a television, a DVD player or a computer. I own a stack full of worship CDs. There is not even a hint of secular culture in my apartment. Yet I keep getting gross, disturbing dreams which might be familiar spirits that are attempting to attach themselves again or it might just be Satan, ticked that we’re about to enter his territory.  Either way, I need some serious prayer covering. I’m even getting weird heart palpitations.  So wisdom and discernment are necessary. I need my heart to be ready and in a steady place with God.

Every now and then I like to recommend some items that have assisted me on this journey of love with Jesus. This is one of those blogs.

The title, Secrets of the Secret Place doesn’t initially seem like it would be a extremely profound book but I have to say that it is one of my most favorite devotional books. Bob Sorge is a well of wisdom in the IHOP community and some of his thoughts are packed with heart-melting truth. Many times, I have been so overcome by the love of God while reading this book that I have had to put it down and can come up with only one response… oh… wow…He loves us.

Another item that I highly recommend is Jason Upton’s FAITH album. This CD has been a close friend the last five years of my life. I honestly wonder how I would have ever made it without this CD. In fact it was so good, that when my dad was going through a difficult circumstance a few years ago, I wrapped this CD up and sent it to him and now it is one of his favorite CDs as well.

You can find both of these items at www.ihop.org or in the Forerunner Bookstore.

Just so you know…